It sounds over dramatic to say that this year has been, in my ways, one of the worst years of my life. Indeed, I’ve had a fair bit of heartache in my 23 years already, but this year seemed to have a ripple effect of unfortunate events that often times made me feel like I was going nuts. Having said that, I know I’m not the only one, and I look back on this year knowing exactly what I don’t want…which I’d say was an improvement.
I look back on 2015 and think “2015, I don’t hate you…because I’ve realised exactly what I DON’T want to do/be anymore. But let’s just say that after all this shit you’ve put me through, we aren’t ever going to be friends ok?” I won’t go too much into detail, because it really doesn’t matter overall as I’m still here and can now look back on this year and realise what I want to change, so you’ll be getting the basics.
To make this blog post A LOT shorter than it originally was, I’ll put 2015 into a nutshell. I spend most of my year feeling stressed, depressed and helpless, whilst trying my hardest to get settled after graduating in 2014. I also came out of what eventually became a very toxic relationship, and for the later part of this year I’ve been figuring out how to be on my own again. That’s the rippled effect summed up, its been challenging and for the longest time I’ve had no motivation to do anything..and I think that’s understandable after everything that happened. But like with anything, time heals all wounds and I think allowing myself to just let go has helped a great deal. I feel that now I’ve things planned for the new year, and slowly but surely my confidence and motivation are creeping back after a whole year of feeling quite defeated.
If anything, its made me learn a lot about myself and what just how much I can endure…so I guess thanks 2015? Here’s a few golden rules that I’ve come to follow, and made the year more bearable:
- DON’T TEMPT FATE WITH THE SAYING “It can’t get any worse” – Because it will, trust me.
- Stop comparing your success to others -That’s great for them, but they aren’t you…and success is open to interpretation anyhow.
- Learn to say no – Everyone has an option on what they think you ‘should’ do. But at the end of the day, YOU make the final decision.
- Bad/Unfortunate things happen – get over it. You can’t let things blight your life.
Another aspect that has made 2015 a lot more bearable was Cosplay. It was the creative outlet that I needed when times got especially tough, and on that side of things I have to say that 2015 was a huge success for me. I made 5 costumes in total, and they were shared A LOT of social media and a gained quite a bit of recognition for it. It still makes me squeal with fangirl delight to know that Claudia Black (voice of Morrigan in Dragon Age) Liked and Commented on my Morrigan cosplay, and James Gunn liked my Gamora cosplay as well. It probably sounds so trivial to someone who doesn’t know Cosplay all that well, but I see it as massively gratifying to know that those behind my favourite movies/games have liked my cosplays, its just so incredibly flattering. I’ve also had my fair share of last-minute cosplays this year, and I have to say they were my favourite ones to wear at Cons this year. Rise of the Tomb Raider Lara is definitely going to be worn at more Cons in 2016 for sure!
I’ve also learned a great deal of new skills in the making process of the costumes that I’ve made. I think probably the most challenging of these was actually Ellaria Sand, because as simple a design as her dress was, it was NOT easy to make! Despite this, it was an experience to work with such fine fabric and ultimately, I think it was a success.
As you all know, the costume that I spent the longest making was Inquisitor Lavellan’s Skyhold costume – mostly due to lack of funds. Although this is a work in progress still, as I am now upgrading it to be a battlemage cosplay, its been really fun to make a custom costume based on a gaming universe that I love so much. I’m going to be doing a photo-shoot in May hopefully next year, so it should be completed by then.
In terms of cosplay, I’ve been incredibly lucky to have the chance to meet and work with so many talented people in 2015. I look back on the photo-shoots that I’ve taken part in and I am just amazed by how well the images worked out. These people know exactly who they are, and I want to thank them for making my costumes look FAR BETTER than they actually are ;)! I’ve been able to learn so much from these people, while making long-lasting friendships and can happily say that they are part of my Cos-Family. I look forward to working with them and seeing them all again once the 2016 Con Season begins!
In conclusion (because now I’m almost certain that many of you have gotten bored of my ramblings!), 2015 was hard and I feel like I’m only really picking up the pieces now. But I’ve realised that it is that I want out life, and have set myself goals for 2016 which are giving me a more positive outlook on life. I hope for a better year free of doubt and frustration, and for a year with more creativity and good times ahead.
Anyways, I wish you all a happy new year…you deserve it!
Photography Credits: James Bissett Photography, Thrashdslr Photography, A Shot in the Dark, Carris Boast, Kawaiiju Cosplay.